Flank 2 position!

ohmygoodness. i don't even know where to begin...bear with me here. the INSANTY!!! yeah kids, 24 is back with a vengeance! Two nights, four hours, and it was sooo f-ing good. It’s 18 months later and Kiefer/Jack is now Frank Flynn, canoodling with a nice little lady played by Connie Britton and her IDIOT son Derek, and the IDIOT VP from last season is now officially the IDIOT president, when David Palmer gets assassinated writing his memoir. Oh sure, kill off the black guy in the first 10 minutes of the show -- pretty damn agressively too I might add, right in the throat. ouch. Michelle and Tony get blown up outside their home soon after, and bye-bye goes Michelle (what a shame, I bet the male portion of the audience was lovin her in her little tank top and tight-ass jeans the whole 4 minutes she got to be on the show this season), but Tony gets to stick around to make what I'm sure will be a miraculous 24-time recovery to partake in some of the debauchery. After all, what's a season of 24 without Kiefer and Tony in cohorts over stopping a terrorist attack?

Oh, and Chloe is sleeping with a boy who works for her by the name of Spencer, who I decided to research online because I think he's kinda cute. (But SPENCER? Did they have to name him SPENCER? Seriously now.) The actor is a guy named Jonah Lotan who hasn't been in anything I've ever heard of before. And that was the end of my research. Back to the show. umm yeah, so Palmer's dead, Michelle's dead, Tony's near dead, and Chloe escaped death and immediately calls Kiefer. I mean Frank. who I must say, in typical I'm-Jack-Bauer-nobody-fucks-with-me fashion, has apparently been brave enough to relocate himself back in the US in Southern California, even after being exiled to Mexico 18 months ago. I suppose that's less suspicious than trying to commute across the Mexico-US border everyday to his job at the oil rigs in Mojave.

Okay, so I of all people, fully understand and accept the need for unrealistic things to happen on television, in order to make good television such as 24. However, that being said, HOW is it possible that Kiefer spent as much time as he did AT the crime scene in the room with the computer having a full conversation with Palmer's little brother at NORMAL VOLUME without ANY of the 10s and 20s of FBI and secret service agents milling about in the same apartment noticing?!

Oh, and don't even get me started on the embarassing white house staff. Somebody please tell me that I'm not the only person who wants to throw things at my television every single time President Logan the Dimwit opens his mouth. And isn't he at the White House? And wasn't Palmer assasinated in LA? And since when is the White House located 15 miles from LA? And are we suprised that Dimsit's wife, First Lady Martha, is a NUTCASE?

whew. what a show. I'm sure I had lots more I wanted to comment on, such as how Kiefer was able to detonate a bomb from his Treo, 101 reasons why Derek is an idiot, how much I enjoy watching Sean Astin (aka Samwise Gamgee [thanks scott] - which incidentally, I've never actually seen any of the LOTR movies, but even I know that Sean Astin played one of those Hobbit dudes) torment Buchanan, and why I am sooooo happy that 24 and Kiefer are back in my life...but dude, four hours is a lot to try to retain in my memory. oh, and i have a real job that i get paid for that requires my attention as well. and that's a wrap (for now).

i love you kiefer

Kiefer Sutherland is the coolest flippin guy EVER. He was on Regis & Kelly yesterday, except it wasn't Regis & Kelly, it was Anderson & Kelly, but whatever. Kiefer is the only guy in the world I will let get away with wearing cowboy boots, and that's all there is to it. Do yourselves a favor and set those DVRs and TiVos to revord 24 this season. Four hours in two days, starting sunday night! Kiefer says these first four hours were designed to work like its own miniseries, and I bet its fab -- They showed a clip and apparently he was going by the name "Frank" down in Mexico. Frank! hahaa.. You are doing yourself a great injustice if you don't watch. Sunday night, starting at 8pm. WATCH IT.

Oh, and George Hamilton and Jerry Rice competing on Dancing with the Stars? So great. Even though the stupid live orchestra they have playing the music for their performances SUCK. The music is awful, the singing is awful...they are just...awful.

24! Sunday night! Monday night! Four hours!!!

a haircut, finally

Tons of interesting things in this week's episode of Lost, but I'm just caught up in the amusement that they finally gave Sawyer a haircut. He needed one badly! Aside from that...Mr. Eko's kind of crazy and demented, Charlie is hiding a backup stash of heroin-filled Virgin Marys, and Locke teaches Michael how to use a rifle, which is sooo gonna come back to bite him in the ass next week. And I'm pretty sure Michael's IM sessions with Walt are a bunch of hallucinations.

Tonight I encounter my first DVR conflict of 2006. My poor little DVR can only record two things at the same time, but OC and the season two premiere of Beauty and the Geek are both on at 9pm, which normally isn't a big deal, but Dancing with the Stars is on starting at 8pm until 9:30, SO that produces this stupid half hour interval that three things are on and I can only record two. oh, the drama...

i think we'd make hot little babies!

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that i am the ONLY person that even KNEW the season premiere of the Bachelor was on last night, much less watched it. But being the reality tv SUCKER that i am, yours truly did tune in to check out the latest. In a futile attempt to regain viewership, the abc producers have moved the show overseas to paris. And to prove just how desperate the producers are: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=24430064 Our bachelor "Travis" actually has his own Friendster profile!!! Ohh the entertainment.

Not a bad looking guy, and smart and successful to boot. Can't wait to find out what about him is dynsfunctional. Because you KNOW there's something wrong with him if he's on this show. The girls are SO CHEESY. I hate them all already. Pretty standard Bachelor show material, mostly blonde, with a spattering of brunettes, a redhead and of course a token Asian girl (whose name is VENUS?!) and a token African-American (PRINCESS??). What's with the names this season? Venus? Moana? Jehan? Shiloh? Who ARE these people!??!

The chaos at the end when little miss i-want-to-reproduce didn't get a rose and wreaked havoc about reproduction was classic. That had to be staged. Did she not know she was going to be on national television? Who DOES that?!

My favorite part of the show was actually the snippets in the very beginning when they did the montage of all the past bachelor/bachelorettes. Hey remember when that 3rd string Giants QB Jesse Palmer was the bachelor? hehe. And whatever happened to Jerry Ferris, the hot Josh Duhamel lookalike? Wait, was he ever actually a bachelor or was he just the one that the one chick (the former Andrew Firestone fiancee who then got her own bachelorette show -- her name escapes me) picked and then dumped? oh, who can keep track anymore. This show is awful, but i CAN'T STOP WATCHING!!! It's like crack!

good times...

HAPPY NEW YEAR! That’s right, I’m back. I took a nice little holiday hiatus, but now I’m back and ready for action! Before I get back to the business of tv, I’d like to take a moment to digress and reflect on my holiday festivities. Okay, I really just want to talk about the ORANGE BOWL in MIAMI. Penn State Orange Bowl Champs!!! So what if the Rose Bowl game the following night totally stole our thunder? Being at the Orange Bowl and watching good ole State win in triple OT topped the charts as what is probably the most funnest football game I will ever be in attendance at in my life. Oh yeah, Miami was pretty cool too. There’s something funny about being at a club in South Beach (that’s right kids, cindy actually went to a club – so what if I showed up in a tshirt and sneakers?) and the entire place is full of nothing but Penn Staters. I like it. The top five things I learned on this trip:

5. There is something inherently wrong with being in a bathing suit on the beach in 80 degree weather on January 1st. But I still enjoyed every second of it.
4. The human body is not meant to spend 4 straight hours screaming its lungs out at a football game. Someday I will have my voice back (hopefully).
3. The human body is also not meant to consume high quantities of beer in a very short period of time. I think it’s still coming out of my pores.
2. If you need to go from relatively sober to stupid drunk in a very short amount of time, a shot of SoCo & Lime (or two) will do the trick. It sounded like a good idea at the time.
1. I appear to be completely incapable of attracting the attention of any guy over the age of twenty-five. 23 year olds though? I’m all over that.

And that, my friends, just about sums up my trip in a nutshell. Starting with my next post, you will be returned to my regularly scheduled tv blogging. (Though I reserve the right to digress and talk about other random happenings at any given time – it’s my blog, I can do whatever I want, alright?) Lots of shows to talk about! Scrubs is back, Dancing with the Stars is back, and soon 24 and Lost and American Idol will be back too! All hail to good tv. Cheers!

Happy Festivus

TV is officially pretty much nonexistent during the holidays. Even the talk shows are repeats. Therefore I will be going on blog hiatus until after new years. Stay tuned for the return of reality cindy in 2006.

Until then, Merry Chrismukkah to all and to all a Happy Happy New Years!!!

Best Chrismukkah Bar Mitzvukkah Ever!

I don't usually ever get to watch shows the same night it actually airs, but since I was up late last night waiting for updates on the pending MTA strike, around 10pm the urge to watch the OC Chrismukkah 2005 hit me, and so it goes. Aside from this awful side story line of Johnny turning bad and trying to hold up a mini mart, it was indeed a happy chrismukkah in the OC. Seth wears a reindeer sweater but redeems himself by coming up with the Chrismukkah Bar Mitzvukkah idea, Summer's dad makes a special guest appearance and opens the door for a pending love affair storyline with Julie Cooper-Nichols-Cooper, and I'm left wondering how they manage to grow such good looking christmas trees in california. All in all, the best chrismukkah ever.

And in reality tv news, I've never been so pleased with the outcome of an Amazing Race edition before in my life. My favorite team of Linz hotties won, and it was FANTASTIC. Yes, I am officially a dork, I was positively beaming when they won.

she's really smart!

i continue to love the OC and fall more madly in love with seth and summer on a weekly basis. i also wonder why it has taken two and a half seasons of this show for marissa and ryan to kind of sort of finally behave like a somewhat normal couple and actually TALK to each other. and there's strippers and stuff.

speaking of strippers...okay, not really, but i needed an excuse to turn the conversation to women in underwear. for anyone who missed the victoria's secret fashion show last week, BOY did you miss out. now, i like boys as much as anyone, but i am not gonna lie, that one hour of glorious underwear filled tv and my favorite hottie alessandra made me wonder if i wasn't meant to be a lesbian. whew. the show also made me very much want to go underwear shopping, but that's another story...

east coast, west coast

i'm not gonna lie, i adored last week's episode of the OC. it's that time of year when college is on the horizon...seth wants to head east, summer wants to stay west, ryan doesn't know what he wants, and marissa is the worst girlfriend ever as usual AND trashes summer's bedroom and a laptop in the process. taylor townsend is suddenly NICE, and julie cooper gets caught moving into a trailer home. a typical week in the OC.

but wait...if seth is going to brown and summer is going to providence and the most dysfunctional tv couple ever is going to berkeley...what the hell happens to the next season of the OC? i was kind of hoping that everyone ends up at Orange County Community College and we get to see "O.C.: The College Years" next fall. not that that ever worked out too well for 90210, but a girl can dream.

i love tommy linz

the most boring episode of the amazing race ever to exist aired this week. they rode in hot air ballons, went horse back riding, and had a task that involved watching the eruption of Old Faithful - wtf? are these people for real? and then their last clue says to go find Phil at the mat, and if these monkeys had been watching previous seasons of Amazing Race, they would have KNOWN that it was a trick pit stop, meaning not really a pit stop at all. duh. So with the non-elimination leg last week, the fake pit stop this week, it will be a three week time frame between eliminations. could they be dragging out the most boring season ever any more? they are lucky that the hot Linz brothers are still in the race, or i sooo would not be watching anymore...(okay who are we kidding, i'd probably still be watching anyway, but you catch my drift.)

and no, i have no idea when i became a gossip columnist. must have something to do with the fact that i need to make sure everyone is up to date on their gawker news. if everyone would just suck it up and read gawker religiously like i do, i wouldn't have to be a gossip columnist. not that i don't enjoy it. because i love celebrity gossip! don't we all?