Chickens and camels and whatever

There was too much activity on this week’s TAR for me to even know where to start commenting on all of it. Teams race from South America to South Africa, which pleases me because that means they can’t use dumb fake words like “andale” anymore.

Lynn & Alex provide endless entertainment (“Hey, we can take those bitches!”), Rob is a big fat a-hole and for some reason Amber is totally okay with that, the token old couple have the brightest outlook on life ever (“I’ve been wanting a facelift for a long time”) and Ray is a jerk to Deana as usual.

Ray & Deana show up at hour #1’s pit stop first and win new cars, and I notice for the first time how f-ed up Deana’s face is. Her eye looks swollen shut and at first I think it’s because the sun is in her eye, but then as the race goes on I notice it ALWAYS looks like that, and she appears to have bruises all over her face, which leads me to believe that either a) I missed some segment where she got busted up in a race activity, or the more likely scenario b) Ray beats her.

In any case, Gretchen & Meredith show up last, but FINALLY there is a non-elimination leg of the race so they are not sent home, and in an added new twist, not only are they stripped of all their money, but Phil takes all their stuff too, which I find to be kind of harsh. Especially after Gretchen bashed her head in during the tunnel detour. Dude, at least let them take a toothbrush or something.

In hour #2, the teams throw raw meat at the lions, and I kind of wished someone would throw Rob at the lions instead. Then they have to find their way from Johannesburg (which Lynn & Alex lovingly compare to Compton) to Botswana, and usually I kind of like how Rob is being conniving and sneaky to get ahead, but this week he’s just plain old mean. He makes some comment about how he’s done being nice. Done? When did he ever start? He also thinks that Meredith pushed Gretchen to try to get sympathy, which makes me want to punch Rob in the face.

Later, teams are driving through bush country and Brian & Greg’s car flips over, rendering their ride-along cameraman unconscious, and Rob & Amber don’t even roll down the window, much less stop to help, when they drive by. My love-hate relationship with Team Survivor is definitely leaning much more on the hate side this week. Even Phil, who I have noticed has become awfully chatty at the pit stop mat these days, gave Rob & Amber an attitude about not stopping.

Ray & Deana run like pansies and get smoked by the brothers in a footrace to the mat and get eliminated, which I definitely attribute to the fact that Ray refused to help the old couple and referred to them as “sacrificial lamb”. What goes around comes around buddy. And Deana’s face looks even more beat up than it did at the end of the first hour. Now that is one relationship that needs to be put out of its misery. Cut the cord already.

Next time on TAR: Lynn & Alex get a flat tire, Kelly has some strong pent up prejudicial frustrations about Ron, and Rob is a jerk. As usual.