the end of the beginning?

its graduation day. welcome LB class of '05. 05? OH-FIVE? as in HIGH SCHOOL class of '05? lord i am old. before i talk about graduation day and everyone getting their presents of jewelry except for Kristin who gets...a frying pan? can i just say that I completely don't understand the "relationship" of Jason and LC? Thy spend their entire relationship talking about absolutely NOTHING, and they go to his grandparents' house that looks suspiciously just like LC's house, and his grandparents aren't even home. I'm so confused.

But back to graduation, are we supposed to start liking the up and coming soon to be seniors, or is this going to turn into some sort of bizarro 90210 The College Years type deal?

Oh, and in case you haven't heard: Supposedly LC is getting her own spin-off show about her internship at Teen Vogue? unreal.

lost and found

The survivors from the back of the plane want to go to the campgrounds of the survivors of the middle/front of the plane. So off they go into the jungle, only Michael decides his time is better spent looking for Walt, and then after a quick physical attack on each other consisting of a punch in the face and a head-butt, Jin and Mr. Black-Guy-who's-name-I-still-can't-figure-out decide to team up to go find him, and in that process get to hide in the bushes and watch a parade of others go by with a teddy bear on a leash. And this episode also made me very confused as to just how much english Jin does or doesn't know. My grandfather used to always pretend he didn't know any English, but then I'd catch him cracking up when someone on tv said something funny that he was pretending not to watch. I feel like Jin is doing the same thing.

Flashbacks this week focus on the life of Jin and Sun before they become Jin-and-Sun. Sun gets set up with a harvard boy at the hotel where Jin works as a doorman, until he decides to quit because his jerky boss gets mad for letting mini-Jin into the hotel to use the bathroom.

So I came to the conclusion that nothing really actually HAPPENED this week, other than people wandering around the island, which they do every week. Nobody finds Walt, the others don't find anybody, and we didn't even get to see if the hatch patrol remembered to push the button. And the episode ends more with an "awww" and not so much with a "*gasp*" which is how most of the episodes USED to end. Not so much lately. And THREE WEEKS until the next new episode of Lost?? WTF?!?

oh look, it's a full moon

The Amazing Race Family Edition continues to be the most boringest edition of this show EVER. I mean seriously, all they do is drive around looking for oversized office chairs and race car museums in random parts of the country. If it weren't for the cuties on the Linz Family team that I am completely in love with, this show would be more of a complete waste of my time than it already is. Although according to the previews, they actually get to leave the country next week *gasp* --but if the producers' idea of leaving the country is driving across the border into mexico for like ten minutes, i'm going to be seriously pissed.

And honestly now, if you were in a race, and your task was to stop racing, and find a sign with the time that designates when you can continue the race, wouldn't you run around looking for the EARLIEST POSSIBLE TIME, instead of just ripping off the first one you see, knowing fairly well that that could set you back an easy half hour or more behind other people you are competing against? The lack of strategy is truly killing me.

Speaking of strategy, I wonder if they'll ever do another season of The Mole. That show ROCKED.

boyfriends are like purses

i'm not sure exactly how they are like purses, but they are. because if LC says they are, then they are. There's a big BBQ party at the super ridiculously massive and expensive home of LC, where she starts to get a little cozy with Jason, which seems to drive everyone absolutely nuts. Kristen goes car shopping with her dad, but it's not so much car shopping as it's going to the car dealer to pick up her shiny new beamer that just happens to be waiting for her and requires zero interaction with an actual salesperson. Jason asks out LC on a date and comes to pick her up in what appears to be a pimped out go cart, and now they're like, dating? And what's with the lack of making out in the hot tub? I don't buy that at ALL.

and yes ms. evan, Sawyer is a HOTTIE! a haircut and a shave and you can strand me on an island with him anyday. whew.

oh, now we're friends?

The episode starts with Hurley dreaming about the food in the pantry, Jin demonstrating some mighty fine English speaking skills, and a guy in a chicken suit. And so as it turns out, Hurley has been tasked with doing food inventory in the hatch pantry and demonstrating math skills to ration the food. I think it’s a cruel joke, kind of like when they put all the contestants on The Biggest Loser in a room full of cupcakes. Hurley enlists Rose (who has taken on a rather large role in to help him do inventory, which turns out to be a good idea, since she convinces him not to blow up all the food. Instead, there is a big ole party with lots of potato chips and peanut butter. As for the flashbacks about Hurley and his winning lottery numbers, it involves a fast food joint, a prank full of gnomes, and a gas station clerk (the guy in the chicken suit) that apparently remembers the lottery numbers of everyone that buys lotto tickets from him.

On the other side of the island (how big is this island anyway?), turns out the guys who trap Michael, Sawyer and Jin in the mini hatch are not THE others, but rather the other survivors from the plane. And they are living in a not-so-mini-pseudo-hatch that isn’t quite as pimped out as the one where the 108 minute ticking timer has suckered Locke and Jack and Kate and everyone else into its f-ed up mind game. Oh admit it, you’d push the button too.

who's stupid idea was this anyway?

Oh how exciting, now we’re flying to South Carolina which is…oh, still on the eastern seaboard. LAME. There is some sort of detour that involves mud and shrimp, and you can’t even really ever tell if anyone is doing better than anyone else in this task. And then a “mystery” bus ride to a Waffle House and then ALABAMA, where there is some roadblock that relies solely on the fact that you don’t get sick on amusement park rides, but since they can only do the ride one team at a time, there is absolutely zero chance for bunching and after they complete spinning around on the spaceship ride, their next task is to WALK to a LAPTOP and WATCH a VIDEO of PHIL. You have GOT to be f-ing kidding me. The video directs you then to walk to the pitstop like 100 yards away. BORING. And then one of the very few teams that don’t completely annoy the shit of me gets eliminated! This is the most amazingly awful race ever.

last dance

ahh, high school senior prom. boy, prom dresses sure aren't what i remember them to be. or maybe that's just how they do it up in the LB. Casey's dress looked like the hooker version of the dress Sheryl Crow wore one year to the grammy awards. And since when did asking someone to prom include fiascos such as dressing up as gorillas or hiding in people's garages? so weird. but i LOVE it!

hatch lessons

Lost gets weirder and weirder by the week. So apparently the wolverines at UMich dreamed up some complicated experiment that totally f*cks with your head and set up this station underground on the Lost island where people are conned into pushing a button on one of those old school Apple machines we had in the 2nd grade every 108 minutes, give or take. Locke was totally into it, but Jack cried bullshit and Desmond totally freaked out when the computer broke and he couldn’t reset the timer, leaving the the boys to figure out what the hell they are supposed to do. What would you do? I think I’d get the HELL out of there, but not before pushing the button, because then I know I have at least 108 minutes to run far far away.

We also get to see flashbacks of John Locke dating Peg Bundy and stalking his kidney-stealing dad.

Meanwhile, Jin, Sawyer and Michael are thrown into a little mini hatch pit by what I would presume is one of the others. Shortly after, the chick that Jack had been talking to in the airport way back when is thrown in after them and the boys are conned into thinking she’s another prisoner when in reality she is teamed up with the others. Sneaky little bitch.

Next week, they start building storylines about Hurley hogging all the food in the pantry, which is just terrible. Come on guys, is it really nice at all to automatically blame the fat guy for the food issues?

the sky is blue

I’m starting to see that the Amazing Race “Family Edition” is really actually the Amazing Race “Domestic Edition.” They started in since-when-is-it-that-easy-to-find-parking-in-the-city NYC, then Amishtown, PA, then Washington, DC – where is was ALSO waaay too easy for them to find parking near all the monuments. So easy to find parking, yet so hard to find the reflecting pool. Hmmm, makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Also makes you wonder why more teams didn’t get decked over the head trying to exchange suspicious briefcases with a stranger. The only thing that WAS believable was the obscene amount of traffic leaving DC. So yeah, this is exciting, a race up and down the eastern seaboard…

Btw, KATIE HOLMES PREGANT?!?!! Ridic.

it's time for a fiesta!

Watching Laguna Beach makes me curse my parents for not settling in California when they came to the US. I mean seriously, isn’t CA closer to Hong Kong than NY? I could have been chillin on the beach and having fiestas in high school – instead I COMMUTED to high school on the SUBWAY every day. what the hell?

So LC sees Stephen in San Fran right after Kirsten had her turn visiting him. Talan wipes out in the fake wave, Morgan is pissed she doesn’t get invited to the fiesta, that piñata got beat up like a mo fo, and Jessica likes Jeff, but Kirsten is the one that makes out with him. Kirsten is my hero.