Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Ignorant Americans

Teams go from their last pit stop, Cerro Santa Lucia in Santiago, Chile, to Puento Viejo in Argentina to Camping Suizo in Mendoza to Estancia San Isidro. I have no idea if I spelled all those places correctly.

I also still have no idea which is Greg and which is Brian. Has ANYone been able to figure out a way to distinguish them from one another?

Rob & Amber stole a cab from the "lifelong friends" aka Team Lesbians, but it turned out to be pretty anticlimactic, because they made a big deal out of it in the previews last week and then it didn't even evolve into a big dramatic plot twist like I wanted it to.

Teams drive through the Andes Mountains to get to Argentina... driving, driving, driving...my goodness that's a lot of driving. Meanwhile, mother and son team are driving in circles around downtown Santiago looking for the highway for almost two hours and lifelong friends miss their exit and end up doing a whole lot of driving in the wrong direction.

Rob & Amber get to Puento Viejo first and choose not to yield any of the other teams, even though anyone would have yielded their ass in a heartbeat because all the teams are so busy being obsessed with beating Rob & Amber that they're not even paying attention to their own race. Most teams are now pedaling or paddling their way to Camping Suizo in Mendoza, but Team Lesbians have driven two hours in the wrong direction and aren’t even in Argentina yet. gee, I can see where this is going. way to make a subtle statement about who's getting eliminated this episode.

At the campsite, someone from each team has to eat 4 pounds of animal parts that include blood sausages, intestines and…cow saliva glands? Okay, not as gross as the caviar, but still gross. And it wouldn't be TAR if someone didn't puke, and Alex from Team Gay is our lucky winner this season. Rob & Amber quit, taking the 4 hour penalty. oh sure, NOW they have a timer on the screen for me to keep track of time with. They con Ray & Deanna into quitting too. Then Team Token Old Couple quit, not so much because they got conned, but because I don't think any of us want to see one of them drop dead on the show from clogged arteries.

I have noticed that they all use the words "rapido" and “arriba” and “andale” excessively, every time they get into a cab or bus in South America. the only "person" i think i've ever heard use the words "arriba" and "andale" that much is speedy gonzalez. and from what i understand, "arriba" means "up" or "above", which doesn't even make sense in the context that the teams are using it, and “andale” isn’t even a real word used in South America. These people watch too many looney toons. stupid americans.

The teams' next pit stop is Estancia San Isidro. The Chip & Kim wannabes finish their 4 pounds of animal insides first and off they go, but get lost along the way, so Lynn & Alex are first to arrive at the pit stop, and all they can talk about is how they beat Amber & Rob. Give it a rest guys, it's getting old. As Team Chip & Kim wannabes arrive at the pit stop, Team Mom & Patrick are still driving to the campsite and Team Lesbians are only just now finishing their paddling. They try to make it look like it's going to be a close race between these last two teams, but I'm not fooled.

Phil stands at the pit stop for like 9 hours waiting for all the teams to show up and as expected, Team Lesbians get booted. I can’t believe she ate 4 pounds of animal guts for nothing.

Next on TAR: Joyce falls off a horse. Deanna cries and Ray yells at her (Jon & Victoria anyone?). And it's obviously going to be a non-elimination leg of the race since we haven't had one of those yet.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I live for the moment when some white folks get:

(1) shot, and/or
(2) stabbed and/or
(3) get the living f*ck beat out of them with a nail-filled stick,
(4) and/or get pushed-off a moving vehicle...

...for using wrong words in the wrong country and in the wrong context... That way, this stupid show will get cancelled and white people will stop being so f*cking ignorant... not that I dislike the show or ignorant white people. Of course not... I am a f*ck*ng lover...

Nice blog dude!!

cindy said...

it looks like an angry salvadorian has found its way to my blog. thanks for keeping my blog entertaining and now controversial too, mauricio.

Anonymous said...

EXTREME!!!!!!!!!!!