It always sounds better live...

Unfortunately, most of the people voting are not watching live but rather watching on television, and that is why Katharine McPhee was in the bottom two last night. And she was CLEARLY pissed to be there. Unlike Lisa who was all smiles considering this was her third week in a row up there, and well, third time's a charm. Nice girl, but you had to see that coming - the voters were super mad at her for butchering Kelly Clarkson.

What else...oh, the girls from NY with the big boobs got botted from Amazing Race. Lake "Like the Ocean" and Michelle totally yielded those girls' asses and it actually made a difference in the outcome of the race. They were the last of the female-only teams this season to get eliminated, and that's that. I wonder how devasted the Frat Boys were when they found out their chicks were sent home. If you ask me, this means all out war between them and Lake & Michelle. Because really, whose pants are they going to try to get into now?

song choice, song choice, song choice

Song choice has surely become the judges' favorite reason to criticize the idol wannabes. I don't really remember it ever being such a popular excuse before this season, but anyways, about last night:

Lisa - as much as i like this chick, she is totally going home very very soon because she sounded very not good. i mean seriously, please don't butcher Kelly Clarkson. It's not cool.
Kellie - cute little country girl, ain't she? I think she might want to stop playing dumb soon though.
Ace - okay, i do realize that america swoons over this guy, but come ON. I'm so done with him.
Taylor - he sounds like he's singing the exact same song every single week.
Mandisa - what a very, very strange song choice.
Chris - woah. that was some hardcore rockin' out. almost scary. settle down chris. i like you too much to let America send you away, and they just might do it if you continue being so scary.
Katharine - oof. that song didn't do it for me, though people seemed to enjoy it. she's lucky she's a hottie, although seriously, what the hell was that outfit?
Bucky - very underwhelming. and along with Paul and Simon, I couldn't understand a word he was singing.
Paris - she is not seriously only 17...is she?!
Elliott - not bad, not bad at all. a nice, solid, normal performance. its a voters delight.

i can't even guess who might go home tonite, there was so much awfulness. maybe Lisa. or Ace. or Bucky. I'd be fine with any one of those.

Audrey you let me down

So about this week’s episode of 24. I’m just mad. I don’t know how Audrey can get all swoony and what have you on Kiefer and almost make out with him less than half hour after he went ape-shit on her and tried to choke her to death. Seriously now, I don’t like to give a guy a second chance if he doesn’t call when he says he’s going to. Or if he's an Eagles fan...but I digress. But somehow Audrey finds it acceptable to discover her ex-boyfriend lied to her about being ALIVE and tried out his death grip on her all on the same day, and STILL want to hook up with him. Whatever.

And how cool does that make Kiefer? I don’t know that I approve of this. He’s demonstrating that it’s okay to lie to your woman AND abuse the crap out of her all in one day and still get some lovin’. And THEN go running back into an exploding gas plant chasing bad guys. Who IS this guy??!

the barry fanilow show

It's Barry Manilow week, but oh wait...it isn't REALLY Barry week, it's actually 50's week, but I guess Barry somehow anyway was the celebrity of choice to bond with the contestants for this theme. So Melissa got booted last week (finally. nobody cared about her at ALL), and now we're down to eleven.

You know what I noticed this week? Mandisa is just "Mandisa." Like, "Paris" is actually "Paris Bennett" and "Bucky" is actually "Bucky Covington" but "Mandisa" is actually just "Mandisa." hmm. In any case, speaking of Mandisa, she was fab as usual, and Simon was in love with her last night. As for some of the other contestants:

Paris - also fab. It never ceases to startle me that her singing voice and her talking voice are two TOTALLY different people.
Bucky - Tired of him. Send him home, America.
Kevin - Ditto.
Taylor - Ditto.
Lisa Tucker - There was something comical about her performance last night. I think Simon pinpointed it with his high school musical comment.
Chris Daughtry - LOVE HIM. He is the type of contestant that will eventually lead me to start voting.
Katharine McPhee - she's a hottie, she can sing, and she can work it. And I laughed at how nervous Ryan was about her boobs not flying out.
Kellie Pickler - cute, but what the HELL was up with her makeup last nite? Holy mother of awfulness.
Ace Young - Everyone loooves him and his falsetto. Granted, if he got a haircut, he'd be a hottie, but the singing made me cringe just a bit last night.
Elliott - I just got a kick out of him admitting that he wasn't a fanilow. Way to lose all the fanilow votes, Elliott.

Tonight, Barry performs, there will be some sort of awful group performance/skit, and then God willing, Bucky or Kevin goes home. And I get to hear my favorite Daniel Powter song again.

she did WHAT?!

So the new so-called terrorist henchwoman is Colette, who reminds me of a more sophisticated Mandy, and the new so-called homeland security henchwoman at CTU is Karen, who reminds me of a crankier Lynette from Desperate Housewives. And BOY is she cranky when she discovers that Chloe has sent Keifer a top secret list of terrorist contacts. Good thing Keifer is a smarty pants and set the memory card to self-destruct, which btw - WTF? I can barely figure out how to synch my palm pilot to my computer and this guy is programming memory cards to self-destruct when inserted in a PDA? Sheesh.

In other news, the creepy VP is having a good chuckle about the fact that he convinced the idiot President to declare martial law. whatever that is. And then Wayne Palmer makes a reappearance and tries to meet up with Palmer's favorite secret service agent Aaron, only to very quickly have some hitmen in a van try to take him out. That boy has had some sucky luck today, huh?

And despite all the craziness that goes on in this episode, you know what the craziest part of all is? The preview for next week!! Colette has identified Audrey *gasp* as the source that has sold her the super secret building schematics that are now in the possession of Bierko, and Keifer goes TOTALLY ape-shit next week questioning Audrey about it!!! agh!

it's a space beetle utopia!

I am all about reality show equality and giving every show a fair chance to prove itself worthy of my DVR. So, when the makers of American Idol came up with this new show called American Inventor, I couldn't resist checking it out and seeing what it's deal was. The result: HYSTERICAL. But not in the way you would imagine. Similar to how the auditions early in the season of American Idol make you laugh and laugh, the "auditions" on this show where people come in and show the judges their inventions are just downright RIDICULOUS. From the Bladder Buddy to the Tizzy Tube to my favorite, the Space Beetle Utopia, you just have to wonder where the hell these people come up with this crap. It's all in the presentation, guys.

my cherie amor

It's the Top 12 and Stevie Wonder week! Which is good because you know they're going to sing songs that you know and can sing along too. Because admit it, you hate it as much as I do when they sing songs you don't know the lyrics to and can't sing along. HOWEVER, I am not amused with most of the idol wannabes butchering my dear stevie songs. so not cool. Some thoughts:

Ace - still needs a haircut. eh.
Kellie Pickler - still as cute as ever. You can't not love her and her fake eyelashes even though her performance wasn't so good. And her strapless bra was showing out the top of her dress. not cool.
Elliott - don't get me started on the white blazer.
Mandisa - why the hell was Ryan removing her shoes on stage?
Bucky - also needs a haircut, and REALLY needs to shave off that damn mustache.
Melissa - I don't think she should have made it into the Top 12. hmph.
Lisa - she was kind of just blah this week.
Kevin - this kid totally weirds me out, and it's not just the fact that he looks like he's 12.
Katharine - i like her! and she's good. and likable.
Taylor - apparently, he's actually really good. but for the love of god america, please vote him off already. i can't stand to watch him anymore.
Paris - damn, girl can sing!
Chris - oh yeah, i like him. he makes me almost want to vote. vote, america! Vote!

oh damn you 24 writers!

Okay, that is TWO WEEKS IN A ROW that 24 has had sad, sad episodes. WTF? So "safe rooms" are not so safe and Kiefer holds his breath for strangely long amounts of time (don't lie, you know you tried to hold your breath too and couldn't do it). Okay, so do we really think Tony is dead? I can't decide. He's not Kiefer. But he's TONY. so what gives? Opinions, anyone?

auf wiedersen!

Well, I totally got faked out by the finale of Project Runway. Aside from the fact that I think I subconsciously knew who was going to win because I had been desperately trying to avoid reading any coverage about the show and I think I ended up accidentally catching a glimpse of it because it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to stay away all forms of internet and newspaper during the week.

In any case, go Chloe. I was just as surprised as she was. It was just weird...you hate Santino, you love Daniel...and kind of forget about Chloe, and then she wins! And Michael Kors wants to give Daniel a job! all in all, a satisfying season. Good job Heidi.

what a SHOCKER

not so much. Bachelor Travis and Sarah are already splitsville. Another failure of a season of the Bachelor. Big freakin' surprise. Lame lame lame.

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/ap/20060307/114176406000.html

oh, the humanity!

As if one hour of 24 isn't enough for me to handle, I somehow managed to survive 2 back to back hours this week. Although I think I watched most of the last hour standing up and by the time it was over my heart was pounding, my mouth was hanging open in shock, and I was emotionall exhausted. It was CRAZY!

So Kimmie is back and managed to arrive at CTU without getting caught in a cougar trap on the way there, but did show up with a sketchy looking boyfriend in tow. The first lady continues her crazy ways and actually tries to hit on secret service agent Aaron. The nerve. President Logan continues to suck big time, and speaking of sucky husbands, I was just dying when Robocop (thanks Scott) basically was ready to let Kiefer pound his wife's leg full of bullets! Unreal. In other news, the Hobbit's druggie sister and her boyfriend totally got screwed over and became Bierko victims, allowing one of the terrorist henchmen to sneak into CTU with a really big briefcase, which you KNOW is not a good sign. Which leads me to....Edgar. Oh poor poor Edgar. The end of the episode with the slow motion final interaction between Chloe and Edgar before he dropped to his death was the most dramatic five minutes of television i've seen in a good long while. Good good tv.

its a raaace!

Oh, how happy am I that a new season of Amazing Race is upon us, and this time its back to 11 teams of two and its a REAL race, not a fake one where families of 4 just sort of wander around the country posing for pictures and climbing big chairs. No offense to the really cute brothers that won the family edition because i loved them, but well, I just really am glad to have back the race around the WORLD. Since this is pretty much one of my favorite reality shows to ever grace the planet, let's review my thoughts on the teams we'll be following this season. In no particular order:

Team Frat Boys: Eric and Jeremy, friends from Florida. Clearly casted to be the good looking boys in the race, so even though they both are slightly missing something in the looks category -- Eric has a big forehead and sort of reminds me of Dylan McKay from 90210 and Jeremy almost kind of reminds me of Uncle Joey from Full House -- I am forced to root for them. My sister refers to them as Beavis & Butthead, which I think I will also start to do. I don't mind Eric so much, but think Jeremy is somewhat of a weirdo. They are still better looking than most other teams on this race (aka they have hot bodies according to the intro footage of them playing volleyball on the beach) so I can deal.

Team Pink: Danielle and Dani from Staten Island, NY. Something about them annoys me. And no, it's not the fact that they dress alike and have some of the biggest boobs I've ever seen in my life (I am so incredibly disgusted when the hippie team calls them Double D and is NOT referring to the fact that both their names start with "D"). Something about their personalities are "off" and I think it's funny that they pretend to think that Eric and Jeremy are obnoxious when they are clearly going to end up hooking up with them during the mandatory "rest" periods.

Team Hippies: BJ and Tyler. They sort of remind me of Harry and Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber, but I think that's only because of the bright orange ruffled shirt that one of them in wearing. I honestly can't decide if I'm amused by them or totally annoyed by them.

Team Boricua: Wanda & Desiree, a mother and daughter team. Desiree is quite adorable, and I can't help but rather enjoy this team, even though the mom irks me on occasion. Desiree is not only good looking but she's stylish. They talk in Spanish a lot, which I can live with, since I almost can understand them even without the subtitles.

David & Lori: I don't have a good team name for them yet. They are an almost-obnoxiously adorable couple from Manhattan, KANSAS. They are very lovey-dovey to one another and admitted geeks, but the sheer fun they are clearly having with this race and each other makes them very adorable and it's only a matter of time before that gets on my nerves.

Ray & Yolanda: The token black couple. It would be so very wrong of me to call them "The black team" given that a) its kind of racist, and b) last season there actually WAS a black team whose last name was Black and they referred to themselves as "The Black Team" and it was just funny even though it was just wrong. Anyway, I like them immensely and hope they start to race a little better than they did on this first leg.

Team MoJo (ugh): Monica & Joseph, also to be known as Barbie & Ken. They automatically annoy me because as if it's not bad enough that they refer to themselves as MoJo, but they actually have TSHIRTS that say MOJO on them. First of all, its lame to give yourself a nickname. And then to wear tshirts with your self-proclaimed nickname? Awful. Monica is super cute, but also super bi-polar, and I don't know why Joseph puts up with her aside from the fact that she is pretty hot.

Lake & Michelle: Clearly have the most potential to be the token dysfunctional couple of the race. They both look like transplants out of the 80's, he clearly used to have a mullet, and she clearly used to have really big hair...oh wait, she still does. Lake spends most of the episode screaming at her, and I almost fell over laughing when someone made a Scott Peterson reference about him. So inappropriate, but so funny.

Fran & Barry: The token old couple of the show. I worry for them because they are in their 60's, but at the same time I can't stand them because all Fran does the entire episode is talk about how they are going to be eliminated, to the point that you kind of wish they would be. Especially when they walked by the clue box on the bridge at least 4 or 5 times without see it. I'm not sure I would have been able to keep a straight face if I were the cameraman following them around and filming this insanity.

Team Glamazon: Lisa & Joni, who refer to themselves as Glamazons, but have been named by the other teams as Team Frosties. Their intro footage features them using a Bedazzler which automatically makes me kind of like them, but then they quickly drive me NUTS. All they do the entire episode is jump around screaming and it's just ridiculous and already getting old. I prayed for them to come in last place, but they snuck in at 10th place.

John & Scott: Quickly eliminated from the race, so I can't bother to spend too much time talking about them. But they were annoying and I will not miss them at all.

Good times, people...good times.

he was only 17?!

Girls: Brenna and Heather got booted of AI. No big surprise there. Brenna had attitude and Heather tried to sing a Mariah Carey song and moved her mouth too much when she did it.

Boys: Sway and David. I didn't think Sway was too bad, but I didn't feel too strongly about his vote-off either way. But David! So adorable, and I was loving the Frank Sinatra/Harry Connick Jr/Michael Buble vocal thing. okay okay, I realized when he got voted off that he is only SEVENTEEN. I can't believe I had a crush on a 17 year old. i have issues.

oh, and Travis, the super crazy incredibly hot as all hell bachelor, picked Sarah the cutesy little kindergarten teacher from nashville. That's CRAZY! Okay, I'm not totally surprised. But I kinda thought he might surprise us and pick Moana. and did anyone notice Moana's boob falling out of her dress? yeah uhh, i wonder how she felt when she saw THAT on tv. oh wait, she probably didn't watch. I wonder how she'll feel when her friends and family who watched the finale tell her that her boob was falling out of her dress? tragic.

calamari and spinach salad

how frickin cute is Kellie Pickler? no seriously, i can barely stand how adorable she is. Aside from her, mostly everyone else sings something slow and boring and I am less than impressed. but still love paris and mandisa and lisa tucker, even if their soing choices were not my cup of tea (or the judges, for that matter).